Date Night

On rare occasions I will opt to dine alone. There is something ‘freeing’ about the exercise. It’s actually interesting to see people’s reactions to a lone-diner in a non-fast food joint. There are uneasy glances thrown your way by other diners. The server almost always asks if you are waiting for someone else. Some people will feel the need to start a conversation with you – perhaps in a bid to ‘distract’ you from what they assume can only be your sadness and sorrow from having to dine alone. But it’s an exercise I enjoy nonetheless. Just me, my thoughts…and people watching.

On one such occasion, I chose a fancy restaurant for my solo dinner. A hostess sat me at a table and the waitress asked, what else, if I am expecting someone else. “Nope, just me”. “Can I get you something to drink to start with?” “Cranberry juice please.” “Coming right up.” While waiting for my drink, I took the time to survey my surroundings. The ambiance of the restaurant was gorgeous and romantic. Candles and a floral arrangement graced each table. This place was definitely a lovers’ paradise…which would explain why all diners were couples. At that point I started to second-guess my restaurant choice – I felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb. But I stuck it out; determined to carry out my solo-dining mission. Not too far from where I was, sat a man. He was dressed to the nines and the scent of his cologne floated in my direction in intermittent waves. He smelled good and was good-looking. There was a single long-stemmed red rose on his lap. It was obvious he was waiting for someone special. The waitress interrupted my gawking  when she returned with my drink. She took my order and  disappeared into the kitchen.

I glanced up just in time to see the man’s date walk in. She wasn’t quite dressed for the occasion. In fact I would describe her appearance as bordering on frumpy. “Someone didn’t get the memo”, I said quietly to myself. She sat down and immediately started talking to the man. He could not get a word in edgewise. He was holding the rose in his hand now and was desperately trying to find an opportunity to give it to her – but she didn’t hold still long enough for him to do so. Mid-sentence, and without excusing herself, she got up and left the restaurant, leaving the man a little perplexed. She returned a little while later with a duffel bag. She started taking clothes out of the bag and folding them; placing them on the table – almost obstructing the view of her date. She kept talking to the man as she did this but her sentences were not making too much sense because she was distracted by the folding of the clothes. I was so mesmerized by what I was observing that I didn’t notice when the waitress brought my meal.

Before the lady was even done with the clothes, she got up once again and left the restaurant. She returned shortly after with a notepad and pen. She sat back down and continued talking to the man, but in between her conversation – her one way conversation – she would stop and say things like milk, bread, soap…while writing on her pad. I was so confused and couldn’t stop shaking my head as I witnessed the train wreck happening in front of me. Is this a prank?? By that time the odd duo had attracted the attention of other diners – I mean, it’s not every day you see someone fold their laundry in a restaurant… while on a date! The lady got up yet again and came back with her laptop which she opened and proceeded to type away amid her one-sided conversation. By this time all subtlety had gone out the window. Everyone in their vicinity openly stared at them- chuckling and whispering to one another. But what stood out to me the most is that her date never once stopped looking at her lovingly. He still had the rose extended to her – waiting patiently for her to receive it. Every once in a while he would try to cut into the conversation without any success. The poor waitress assigned to their table was at a loss of what to do. She had attempted to take their order several times but the woman was so engrossed in her speech and activity that she didn’t notice her. The man’s eyes were glued to his date and didn’t notice the waitress either.

The woman got up once again and came back with some dirty dishes in a pail of water. The diners erupted in laughter! No one could believe what was unfolding in front of them. She used the last little space left on the table to place the pail – now completely blocking her view of her date – and proceeded to wash the dishes. In between that task, she would talk at the man in sentences that didn’t make sense. And just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse, she fell asleep mid-sentence. The man moved his seat closer to her and watched her lovingly as she slept. He even gently stroked her back. At this point everyone in the restaurant started talking to each other about the utterly bizarre scene we had all just witnessed. Some of the diners thought she had to have some sort of mental disorder because what we were witnessing wasn’t normal. The lady grunted, woke up from her nap and left the restaurant. Some of the diners started guessing what she would lag in next. Some said a mop, others thought she would bring a bag of potatoes to peel, yet others were convinced she would return with a camera crew revealing that this was all a huge prank…but she didn’t return. I ate my then cold meal and settled my tab. By the time I left she still had not returned. The man however, still sat in expectation – waiting for her. “That must be some man!” I remarked to myself. “He must really love her – but I cannot possibly understand why! He can do so much better than her!”

Now, if you think this story is too bizarre to be true, you are right….well, half right. I made up the story. This type of behaviour is so unacceptable, so rude and so crass, that you would likely never  witness something like this – in the natural realm, that is. Unfortunately, in the spiritual realm, this scene is common place. What am I talking about? I’m talking about prayer!

I have been this  exact “date from hell” on many occasions. God waits for me patiently to spend quality time and converse with me – but yet when I arrive, I talk at Him and my mind is constantly spinning, distracted by all the tasks and activities that await me like laundry that needs folding, dishes that need washing, some upcoming project at work or school, compiling my grocery shopping list …. and before I know it, my prayer stops making sense and I rumble on incomprehensibly. When I have been really tired, I have gone as far as saying things like “God, you worship me”. Many times I have fallen asleep mid-prayer and upon waking up I forget that I was praying. I get up, proceed with the busyness of the day, and leave the Lover of my soul hanging.

To our omnipresent God, every single one of us is the apple of His eye. He has no favourites (Romans 2:11). When we enter His presence in prayer, we are His only agenda. He gives us His full and complete attention. He wants to hear from us – and likewise, He longs for us to hear from Him too so He can share His heart with us and tell us how much He loves us. He longs to sing over us and let us in on some of the wonderful plans He has in store for us. But unfortunately, many are the times when we don’t get to hear any of that because we don’t stay still and quiet enough to hear His still small voice. We cannot make out His voice among the other numerous voices of distraction swirling around in our thoughts; distractions that flood in at the mere mention of our opening prayer statement “Father, in the name of Jesus I come before you today….” We do not give God an opportunity to share His heart with us because we are so busy talking at Him, telling Him all the things we want, nay, all the things we “absolutely need”. We neither see nor receive the gifts He brings to us because we are so wrapped up in getting through our list of demands as quickly as possible so we can move on with the rest of our day.

If the Creator of the Universe, the most High God, the most powerful Being, the Almighty God who is all-sufficient and needs no one… if this God can give us His full attention when we enter His presence in prayer, how much more attentive should we puny humans who need Him be? I am guilty of not always being aware/respectful of just Who I am in relationship with. God is a big deal – a HUGE deal – yet He wants to be in relationship with a sinner like me??? If I cannot even treat my worst enemy in certain ways, why is it okay for me to do that with the Most High God? But God in His mercy, compassion and love, still hears those scatter-brained prayers we lift up to Him. Isn’t He something?

So how should we pray?

• Choose a time in your day when you are fresh, alert and not tired.
• Don’t be in a rush. Wait for all the distractions to dissipate before you start to pray. Have a pad of paper handy so you can write down all those things that are distracting you – like your to-do list – that way they are off your thoughts, freeing your mind to focus on God.
• We shouldn’t treat prayer like the drive-through window of a fast food restaurant. Prayer isn’t about quickly listing our demands and walking away. Prayer is a two-sided conversation with the Almighty.
• Prayer should involve adoration (praising God), confession of sins (and asking for forgiveness), thanksgiving (for all God has done), intercession (praying for the needs of others) and supplication (praying for our needs and requests).
• Prayer should absolutely include listening for the voice of God. Let’s not be too quick to rush off – God may have something important He wants to share with us.
• Check out Matthew 6: 5-15 in which Jesus tells us how to pray.

Here’s hoping that you and I will strive to be better dates to God. Blessings to you all.