I Just Wanna Go Home

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“I just wanna go home!” Can you remember when you have uttered these words? I remember when I did. I had just come from an appointment where I was given an unfavorable report that completely deflated me. I was so saddened that I couldn’t hold back my tears as I rode the train home. Even the embarrassment of receiving uneasy glances from other commuters couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I was having a really bad day and I was an hour and a half away from home – just about the longest 90 minutes of my life.

Upon reaching my stop, I disembarked from the train only to see 2 of my close friends at the platform. They were beaming as they greeted me with a lot of enthusiasm. They were dressed to the nines and were on their way to a boat cruise. As they excitedly shared the details of the cruise with me, the best I could offer them was a blank stare from behind red-streaked puffy eyes.  Most of what they were saying went in one ear and out the other, unprocessed. I was distracted by my own thoughts that were running through my mind a mile a minute. I was  growing impatient. Each minute I spent listening to them was yet another minute added to the countdown of when I would finally walk through my front door. They eventually clued in to the fact that I wasn’t in the best of moods and wanted to know what was going on with me.  “Let me talk to you guys later. I just wanna go home”, I said to them as I left their presence without much of a goodbye. When I finally got home at around noon, I made a bee-line for my bedroom, changed into my pajamas, got under the covers, and let my emotions run free.

“I just wanna go home.” When have you uttered these words? Maybe it was after you got fired from your job. Or after missing out on something you really wanted. Or after someone broke up with you. Or after being highly disappointed, embarrassed, or simply utterly fatigued. What is it about home anyway that seems to hold the “cure” for bad days? Well, I believe home is that one space where you can be your authentic self without judgement. It’s your turf and the one space you can almost fully control. It’s where you can deal with your emotions without scrutiny from the outside world. For some people that involves downing a whole tub of ice cream, binge watching their favorite show, or isolating themselves in a room to engage in an ugly-cry marathon. Home is also the one place where those around you know how you deal with “bad days” and as such they know exactly what to do with you e.g. hug you or give you your space.

As I recalled just how badly I craved the privacy and comfort of my house that day, and how relieved I felt when I finally got home, I couldn’t help but think of those people for whom home is not a safe haven. Those for whom home is anything but peaceful. Those that are abused or face daily conflict. Those that pause outside their front door every single time, wondering whether to turn the doorknob and go in, or whether to turn around and keep walking.  Where do these people go to when they have had a horrendous day? What is their “I just wanna go home” equivalent? Where is their safe haven?

As I pondered these questions, I also paused to think about something even more important: my spirit/soul. When the devil has harassed and tortured my soul, what kind of environment does my soul have to “go home” to? Does my spiritual health provide a safe haven equipped with the necessary weapons to counter the enemy, or does my spiritual state leave my soul stranded and helpless? What about yours?

When the enemy tempts you, do you have ready scriptures to counter his claims like Jesus did in the wilderness, or do you fall for his lies and deception? (Matthew 4:1-11) When he tries to suck you dry by draining you of your joy and peace, do you empower him to keep you in a dehydrated state, or do you fight back by seeking God in prayer and Word hence renourishing your soul?

When the enemy harasses you by repeatedly attacking your thoughts, emotions, finances, marriage, family, health, etc, does he find you wearing the full armor of God or is he thrilled to find you wide open and unable to protect yourself from his assault? When he has lit your world aflame by seemingly crushing your hopes and dreams, do you encourage yourself with the Word of God that’s hidden in your heart, or does the unprepared state of your heart worsen things – essentially thrusting your soul out of the frying pan and into the fire?

We are reminded that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places. We cannot successfully battle life’s problems with bankrupt souls. We need to have our souls enriched by the power of the Holy Spirit.

So while we work to ensure that our physical homes are comfortable safe havens, let’s be careful not to neglect the more important thing: our spiritual health. Ephesians 6:10-20 prescribes for us just how we are to do this: we are to put on the full armor of God (truth, righteousness, gospel of peace, faith, salvation, prayer and the Word of God) and we are to stand firm.  Even when your unfavorable circumstances remain unchanged, stand firm, stand strong, stand courageous. Hold your God-given ground and do not allow the enemy to lure you from God’s territory into his. Hold on to God. He alone is your refuge and your place of safety. He is your God and you can trust Him (Psalms 91:2).

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  1. Anonymous

    thumbs up

    1. Liz Thuo

      Thank you!

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